Conference Distractions
by happy29
Summary: Steve and Danny are attending a police conference and Steve has his mind on other things. Steve/Danny


"Yo, Steve," Danny knocked Steve's knee with the back of his hand as he leaned to the side and whispered over his shoulder in his partner's ear. "Is it me or are we the two coolest looking people here?"

"You mean _normal_?" Steve questioned as a small chuckle escaped while he gazed around the half-empty auditorium.

Danny rocked his head from side to side as if contemplating his answer then merely shrugged. "Yeah, that too."

Steve dared another curious glance around the vast room as Danny scratched would-be notes on a white legal pad. They were seated six rows back and to the right of the stage for a conference on "Proper Police Procedures in a Changing World." The speaker's mono-tone voice had been grating on Steve's nerves since the moment he shook his hand and introduced himself and Danny and even more as the minutes ticked slowly by.

Steve rolled his neck from side to side out of boredom and wished his phone would vibrate to life with a case and free them. The conference had been his idea and Danny jumped at the idea hoping it meant Steve had finally come to his senses and would start to follow real rules instead of his own. But now they were two hours in without a break and he was well beyond losing his mind. Once again, he must have read the outline wrong or checked the wrong box when he signed them up. He stole a glance to his left and Danny didn't look any more enthused than he felt.

"Half these guys look like they came straight from an orchestra concert," Danny snickered behind a hand covering his mouth. "We aren't attending a fancy dinner banquet later."

Steve stopped doodling on his own notepad and peered over his shoulder, taking in the appearance of the other attendees. "We are by far the coolest cops in this room," he whispered. "Hands down. And you, my friend, are the best dressed." Steve winked at Danny and gave him a lop-sided smile. "That's for damn sure."

"Thanks, babe." Danny sat up and uncrossed his legs, stretching them under the seat in front of him. He caught a glimpse of Steve's notepad and groaned. "For God's sake, Steven," he grumbled under his breath. "If you're going to doodle, at least help me make out our grocery list." Danny angled his notepad and lifted the top page revealing the start of a grocery list on the following page. "I've already got Longboards, bagels, milk, Charlie's cereal. Monkey has requested tacos one night this week and Charlie wants the famous Williams' chocolate chip pancakes."

Steve disregarded his own notepad and read Danny's list while he was talking.

"Put your doodle to the side and help me out here." Danny flipped his page back over covering his list when he noticed movement from the stage. The speaker had removed the microphone from the stand and had started walking around on the stage. "I like it by the way." Danny pointed to the drawing on Steve's tablet. "What is it? New tattoo design?"

"You do? Really? Because I was drawing it for you. Thought you could maybe put it somewhere around your hip." Steve waggled his eyes at his partner and gave up the lop-sided grin that always undid Danny on his worst days.

"No, Steven." Danny shook his finger. He was not going down this road in the middle of a boring police conference.

"Shoulder blade?" Steve suggested as he wrapped his arm around Danny's broad shoulders and ran this thumb down the contour of Danny's left shoulder blade. He was met with an icy blue stare from his partner. "Bicep?" Steve asked removing his arm from around Danny's shoulders and squeezed his right bicep in exchange.

Danny glared and shrugged out of Steve's light hold. "No, Steven."

"Lower back?" Steve almost burst out laughing when Danny shot him down with icy daggers. "You know, I'm starting to think I'm the only cool one here." Steve straightened himself in his seat and went back to doodling on his pad.

"You want to sleep on the couch tonight and we'll see just who is the coolest one?" Danny slapped Steve's thigh with the back of his hand. "I can't believe you signed us up for this boring conference. You probably thought it was going to be all about tactical situations and hands on training."

"I may or may not have checked the wrong box." Steve merely shrugged and Danny just rolled his eyes. "I'll let you book the next conference we have to attend."

"Shouldn't we be paying attention to the speaker?"

"What speaker?" Steve questioned with a hint of a smile as his doodling continued.

Danny shook his head bewildered. " _'What speaker?'_ , he says." Danny elbowed Steve in the ribcage. "Pay attention, you putz."

"So, the hip's out?" Steve asked as he poked Danny in the hip bone causing him to jump.

"Out." Danny ground out through clenched teeth.

"What if I want it on your hip?"

"Out." Danny replied, eyes focused on the stage and the speaker, completely unaware what has been discussed for the past ten minutes.

"What? Do you have a sudden aversion to tattoos?" Steve twisted in his seat so he could get a better view of his partner. "It's not like I'm asking you to let me tattoo you, Danny."

"No. Just the placement."

"What's wrong with the hip?" Steve scrunched his eyes together in confusion.

"What's the point of it being on my hip if no one can see it?"

"The point is, _I'm_ the only one who gets to see it."

"Do I need to remind you that we're in the middle of a police conference?"

"No need to remind me. I'm here, completely bored. Now you know why I'm a Navy SEAL and not a cop. Do I need to remind you that five minutes ago you were making out a grocery list?"

Danny shot Steve a glare. "There's plenty that you see that no one else sees."

Steve merely shrugged. "So? I want to make it one more thing that only I get to see."

Danny blushed and was about to respond when the speaker startled him and asked Steve a question. His heart rate sped up and was certain they were busted for not paying attention. To his surprise, Steve responded with what appeared to be an appropriate response.

The speaker redirected his attention to another cop in attendance and Steve nudged Danny's thigh. "Contrary to popular belief, Daniel. I too, can multi-task."

"Would you care to finally bring that skill to the office so I don't have to do all of your paperwork?" Danny asked in a hushed tone.

"No."

Danny nodded once and returned his attention to the stage. "Then maybe I won't let you see any more of my uh _assets_ … or possible tattoo locations."

"Assets? _Really?_ Who speaks like that?" Steve asked bewildered.

"I do. Ergo, you won't get to see them."

"Ergo? Did you really say ergo?"

"You need the Neanderthal translator on my phone?" Danny shot back.

Steve just rolled his eyes and settled back into his seat. "So?" he leaned in close to Danny once again. "The hip?"

Danny closed his eyes and dropped his head forward in defeat. "Fine. The hip."

Steve smiled in victory.

"If you're going to pick a permanent something to put on my skin, could you doodle something that isn't going to make either one of us to break out in giggles every time we lay eyes on it? A lot more like an actual ocean wave and less like a cartoon."

"I thought you said you liked it?"

"That was before I knew you wanted that a permanent part of my skin."

Steve returned his attention to his notepad and began work on a new design. After a few minutes he nudged Danny in the side and flipped the top page of Danny's notepad over. "Add lube to our grocery list."

Danny dropped his pen. This was going to be the longest conference ever.


End file.
